How Marriage Has Trained Me

April 10th happened to be our 16 year wedding anniversary and we were celebrating at Magic Mountain with our kids. It wasn’t an ideal anniversary plan, but what could we do when Spring Break fall on the same week as the wedding anniversary?

We figured after we got home we would celebrate in our normal fashion of dinner and maybe ask a friend to keep the boys for a night.

That wasn’t nature’s plan.

Our youngest son who has Aspergers, ended up getting sick on that trip and ran a fever of 104.7 off and on for a week. He was later diagnosed with a sinus infection. You guessed it, because of this we weren’t able to celebrate our anniversary that week. Finally two and half weeks later we did have a small anniversary celebration for ourselves.

Celebrating our anniversary is actually very important to me. 

It isn’t just about us making it 16 years.

But it’s also about celebrating life and our kids’ life. March 26, 1999, two weeks before my husband and I were married he was in a head on collision and his car started on fire. Three people worked together to pull Jacob out of the car. Darryl who used six to seven fire extinguishers to keep the flames down while Leslie, who was side swiped by the same man that hit Jacob, and the third man (who never shared his name) pulled Jacob from the burning car.

The wreck, is what taught me to be able to deal with our youngest son and all the therapies and doctors’ appointments he’s had over the years.

Think about it, for the first year and a half I was married, my husband and I spent so much time with doctors and therapists.  Because of those hours and hours of appointments I learned how to ask clarifying questions. I learned medical lingo. I also came to realize the doctors and therapists didn’t have all the answers, and the answers they gave didn’t mean it was true for my husband’s life. For example, my husband having a head injury, I was told if he hadn’t improved within a year he would always have the same problems. Yet, five years after the accident I would say he was very close to the man I chose to marry.

Years after his wreck, we have a child who seems to visit doctors weekly and was diagnosed with pediatric Bipolar and later it was changed to Aspergers. I believe, the hours spent in the doctor’s office with my husband prepared me in dealing with our son. It gave me the knowledge of being able to communicate my concerns and what type of questions to ask. It also helped knowing the doctors don’t have all the answers, so we felt like we could be part of our son’s medical planning too.

16 years of having an amazing partner, husband, best friend, father. I cannot express how blessed I am.

I just remind myself when my husband becomes a little annoying, that all of us go through tough times! All of us struggle in life, but it helps having someone there who helps carry those burdens and there isn’t another person in this world that can put up with me the way Jacob does.